We have all heard the term “emotional baggage”. It is best defined as a metaphorical image in which one carries “bags” filled with past disappointments, failures and negative experiences that affect how you act or react to events now.
So, what is your “emotional baggage” and does it impact your business?
Typically, when I coach an advisor who has had less than desired results in their business life, again and again, we find through our discussions that they have created what I refer to as “emotional business baggage”, a learned belief system that doing a specific professional activity causes an emotionally painful response.
The following are just a few examples:
With rookie advisors, they tend to have been rejected while cold calling; thus, their belief system becomes that cold calling = pain of rejection.
Some advisors put on seminars without gaining any leads; thus, their belief system becomes seminars are not effective and I end up with disappointing results.
Another example might be advisors who have asked for referrals and their clients seem uncomfortable providing them; thus, their belief system becomes asking for referrals is uncomfortable and awkward for clients and myself”.
As a result of the three aforementioned belief systems, these advisors stopped cold calling, doing seminars and or asking for referrals. Rather, they carried around their “emotional business baggage” created from those painful experiences and tried desperately to avoid the painful feelings associated with them.
Wouldn’t it be nice to lose your “emotional business baggage”? Use the following three step process to do just that:
Step #1: Realize the True Issue
The first and most important step is to understand the true issue, which is that you create your own reality. Let’s use the first example of cold calling. If you focus only on the rejection, “the no’s”, there is no doubt you will feel rejected. However, if you can use the mentality that “every no brings me closer to a “yes”, then you won’t care, as much, about actually hearing a “no”. A simple switch to looking at the positive in any negative experience as outlined above adjusts your attitude greatly.
One example of this is a financial advisor client of mine years ago that was having a hard time with objections and feeling rejected. That is, until he changed his focus by creating a game of putting a quarter in a jar every time he heard an objection. He would use the techniques I taught him such as the Smoke Screen Technique to find the real objection and the Objection Resolution Model Technique after he found the real objection to try, to overcome it.
At the end of the day he would count up the quarters to see if he had a new record number in the jar. If he did, he would reward himself by taking himself to lunch the next day. It didn’t take him long to realize that by gamifying his prospecting efforts he was focusing on no’s as a positive!
Step #2: Take Ownership of Your Outcomes
The second step in this process is to take ownership of your outcomes by determining what you can control such as increasing your skill sets on how to cold call more effectively. As you strengthen your own abilities you begin to understand that you are no longer a victim of circumstance, but the creator of your own success! New challenges become new opportunities.
In the case of this advisor, he realized that what he could control was the next dial as well as what he did once he heard an objection. He also learned what he couldn’t control, which was who was going to pick up the phone and if they were going to say yes or no (in the form of an objection) to meeting with him.
Step #3: Reinforce New Behavior(s)
The third step is to reinforce any new behavior(s) like choosing to focus on the positive within the negative along with what is in your control. By asking yourself questions such as, “What is good about this situation? What is in my control? What skills sets do I need to sharpen? What is my desired outcome?” you continually re-focus, which will keep you on track rather than filling your “bags” with more.
There were two critical things that this advisor did to reinforce his new behavior; first, he put a quarter in the jar to signify just getting an objection and then second rewarding himself for having a record day. This in turn changed his belief system about getting an objection, it now became a positive thing and as a result, he overcame his fear of rejection.
Why Leaving Your Emotional Business Baggage Works
Leaving your “emotional business baggage” is not easy, but as you can see from these examples it is possible. The reason why this three-step process works is because it forces you to change your focus, which inevitably changes your belief system.
Try using these steps if you are looking for ways to stop lugging around your “emotional business baggage”, leaving it behind so you can build a better business.