By: Daniel C. Finley

Learning to Let Go

Do you struggle to let go of unhealthy things related to your business? I don’t mean the physical act of letting go but a conscious choice to emotionally let go of worry, doubt, fear, or stress about a situation or even a person.  

Most financial advisors, insurance agents, wholesalers, branch managers, and even agency managers don’t have a well-thought-out process for releasing unhealthy things or people that can affect their success.

As Deepak Chopra says, “In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”

Let’s take a look at a step-wise approach for letting go:

Step 1: Assess the Situation

Typically, the barometer for knowing that it’s time to move on is when you are not happy and/or you are not seeing successful outcomes. That’s when it’s time to ask the simple but powerful question, “Why?”…What is happening that is making you feel this way?”

That’s when you start to assess the situation. Maybe it’s a prospect that is being disrespectful, a co-worker that is degrading, a client that is always rude, or a staff member that is condescending- whatever it is, you need to assess the situation and figure out what is happening.

Step 2: Learn from the Experience

At this point, it’s important to understand what you can learn from this situation. Maybe the life lesson is simple, that you are understanding whatever it is that is disrupting your inner peace is not something that you will tolerate anymore, and you are learning that you need healthier boundaries. You might also be learning what you “won’t” do next time!

Step 3: Take Ownership of Your Happiness

It’s important to understand that no one is in charge of your happiness but you! And, as such, you need to take ownership of your own happiness. What that does is it helps you to understand that you are not a victim. You don’t need the disrespectful prospect, the rude client, the condescending staff member, or anyone else who is holding you back. You don’t need to have a bad attitude about the stock market or even being rejected. It’s all a choice! And, if you choose to take ownership of your own happiness, you will get back your sense of control again.

Step 4: Decide What You Want

At this point, you need to get crystal clear on what course of action best suits your needs. An example would be that you don’t want to continue pursuing the disrespectful prospect, or you don’t want to work with that rude client anymore.

Step 5: Create a Plan

Now, you need a plan. You need to know exactly what you are going to do or say to get the results that you want. The plan could have the same format or formula, but each plan will be unique to each situation.

An example would be deciding how you want to let go of that prospect or client. Do you want to just quit following up on the disrespectful prospect, or would you rather explain your position and tell them you are not a fit? Do you want to have a heart-to-heart talk with your rude client to try and repair the relationship, or do you want to explain how they can be better serviced by someone else? It’s all up to you to decide!

Step 6: Communicate Your Process

One of the hardest things to do is to communicate your process. That’s because letting go is never easy. Once you do, you are done. However, if you are talking about the examples that I mentioned, then you are going to want to have a process for doing so.

What I recommend is to do the following:

  • Lead with the Positive– “I know that you have been a good client for years. And, I appreciate your business.”
  • Discuss the Challenge-What I’ve noticed lately is that we seem to be miscommunicating. I don’t know if it’s because of the market being down or because I’m not doing something to service your account the way you want me to, but it seems that you are dissatisfied and unhappy with my services.”
  • Discuss the Solution– “So, what I am going to do is to assign your account to another advisor in the office. Or, you can find someone and transfer out.
  • Give them an Option-What would you like to do?”

Step 7: Let Go of the Outcome

The final step is the healthiest- let go of the outcome. The reason it’s the healthiest is that you have done all that you can do, you have your emotional control back, and if (in the example) the client wants to change, great, but if they leave, that’s great too. Either way, you have a stronger boundary, and you will be happier in the long run.

Why Creating Business Game Changers Works

The reason why Learning to Let Go works is because it’s a step-wise approach to conquering the art of disengaging. When you use all of the previous steps along with other strategies that I discuss in The Advisor Solutions Podcast Episode #54 (Learning to Let Go), you will find that letting go is just a natural part of evolving your business as well as yourself as a person!

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